Archive for April 2011
Wings is the sort of book that doesn’t need to exist. I don’t mean that in the “wow, this book is horrible” way but in the “if only the characters had acted like any rational person, the plot would have been about three pages long” way.
So the question I put to you is if you had piles of riches hanging around (and magic powers) and you really wanted a plot of land not to be sold to potential evildoers, what would your crafty plan be:
a) offer some of those riches to the current owner of the property in exchange for said property.
b) Decide that the best way to gain control of the property is to leave a small child on the owner’s doorstep in hopes that they will adopt the child and some day the child will inherit it.
Please note, the owners have been dying to sell the property and the people with the piles of riches have been brainwiping the prospective buyers so they forget they were interested.
I bet you can guess which choice Pike made.
Anyway, Laurel was left on her parents’ doorstep when she was three and the happy adoption plan worked but now she is sixteen and just starting a new school. She is (of course) totally beautiful (because one of the messages of this book is that
ugly people trolls ugly people are evil) and immediately the hottest guy in town wants her.
In a shocking reversal from Twilight, she is the supernatural one, though she doesn’t know it yet. She finds this out when a big flower blooms on her back indicating that she’s ready to birth some offspring. (She’s a fairy and apparently fairies are plants despite looking just like people. They also eat and breath and fuck like people though sex is the safest around because they can’t get preggers. Oh, and in case you might think she was a regular fairy, of course she is one of the rare and super special ones.)
While she’s back on the special land where she grew up she runs into another fairy because none of these books is complete without a rival love interest of unsurpassable hottness, who can also infodump some important history to her.
Anyway, her parents are selling the magic patch of dirt to someone evil (i.e., ugly.) And the evil guy made her dad really ill (ok, that is pretty evil) for reasons that are about as logical as the whole fairy changeling plot since they were already selling the magic dirt to him.
Do you care why the dirt is magical? No, me either. Anyway, I’m sure you will not be surprised to hear that eventually some fairy who is not a total idiot realizes that if they give her parents money they won’t sell the magic dirt. Also, have a free cure for your dad.
But wait! Did I say there was a supernatural love interest? I bet you were wondering if he is a creepy stalker. All signs point to yes:
“I’ve watched you for years. Watched you grow from a little girl to a full grown faerie. We were best friends when we were little, and I’ve been with you almost every day for the last five years. Is it so unreasonable for me to have fallen in love with you?”
“You’ve waited for me this long?” she asked in a whisper.
Tamani nodded.” And I’ll wait longer. Someday you’ll come to Avalon and when that time comes, I’ll show you what I have to offer you in my world, our world. You’ll choose me. You’ll come home with me
OR ELSE. (ok, he doesn’t actually say that last bit. But you know creepy stalker fairy is thinking it.)
You too can read this book for free if you click the link. I’m not actually suggesting you do so.
Mind you, I’m not actually saying the book is good. Because it is not.
 “It’s such a perfect piece of earth that nature is not the only abundant resource there. Gold and diamonds are as common as sticks and stones”
 I call this the “Goblet of Fire” syndrome – because of course you need a really complicated plan to kidnap Harry Potter rather than just kidnapping any of the nine million other times you have him alone once you’ve had your agent replace Mad Eye Moody.